wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
