Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
