Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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