hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
