i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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