i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
