We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
