I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
