windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
