I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
