I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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