Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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