Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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