i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My vagina is officially offended.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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