i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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