is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
