office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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