her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
