You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
