I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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