Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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