My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
