1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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