It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
