I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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