wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
