Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
