One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
