Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ttyl tear gas
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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