Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
