How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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