oh god the rape fog is back!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
