You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
