I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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