Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
