Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize