she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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