I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
