I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Too much gin, very little bucket
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
