careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
