I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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