To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you never un-have a 4some
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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