so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Watching her eat just hurts me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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