I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize