Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
