Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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