oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize