I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
