Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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