Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
