They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
