We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Holy shit dude........stairs
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
