I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
