That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
