she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
