You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
