were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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