She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
