I'm eating all of the evidence.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
