And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
