Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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