The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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