i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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