Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
